Connor the library assistant. Speaking directly to you, cuz you’re his buddy.
Dude, check it out. There’s this chick who hangs out at the library. And you know that weird dude who shelves the books? He totally freaked her out the other day. He was like sniffing all over her sweater. Dude, he is totally warped.
But anyway, she was all upset and stuff. And I almost went over to talk to her. She always wears this old lady sweater, ya know? Like maybe it means something to her.
(you say) “And you’re telling me this because?”
I dunno. Would you go out with a 35-year-old?